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The Request:
"Ain't no bones in the city, so the squirrels ate Beethoven."
For 15 years, a plaster bust of Beethoven resided in my parents' backyard. Having begun to corrode naturally some years back, this year Beethoven finally disappeared. Perplexed, my father developed a theory: "In nature, the animals who die become bones, benefitting the natural cycles of the forest. Squirrels that live in the forest, see, can sharpen their teeth and benefit from those bones of fallen animals. Since there are no bones to speak of in a city, (for when an animal dies, its bones are either buried in the little pet cemetery, or the waste is swept up by the city, don't you see,) the city squirrels living in our trees must find another means of acquiring those nutrients. They need to sharpen their little teeth, supplement the pitiable offerings of our neighborhood, and so on and so forth. So I suspect the squirrels have been eating Beethoven all these years."
I immediately began to hum a country ballad in this theme--
"Ain't no bones in the city, /so the squirrels ate Beethoven--/Little hands just like forks, / said a blessing, & dove in.
"Started turnin' real smart, / and took to the pianer, / talked of ontological merits / chatted all through their danner...
and so on and so forth.
Do you think you could finish the song? Please take creative license!
Describe your song in one word:
ÉcureuilsEroica
lyrics
ou must think i'm joking
about the squirrels who ate beethoven
with their claws like forks
teeth like knives
you must think i've lost my mind
oh no sir, they just dove in
me and evelyn know that the squirrels ate beethoven
the squirrels didn't know he was a composer
they just need a way to sharpen their molars
you should see what they did to poor chopin
i'm telling you they ate beethoven
minimalists it funny
neoclassicists are appalled
the squirrels find him yummy
and so they ate him all
oh yes sir, we know they did
me and evelyn know that the squirrels ate beethoven
(talking)
poor beethoven at the pianer
never imagined he'd be eaten for dinner
you should see what they did to poor ravel
now he's just a pile of gravel
john adams thinks i'm crazy
tandun does too
but my daughter she believes me
because i speak the truth
oh yes sir, i know they did
me and evelyn know that the squirrels ate beethoven
me and evelyn know that the squirrels ate beethoven
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